Devotions

Disappointment with God is a topic dear to my heart. Growing up in a Christian home, I heard many stories about answered prayers. We heard of desperate people calling out to God when it seemed there was no hope. We saw his miraculous healing, deliverance and provision.

Over the years, my faith matured. Our family had experienced hardship, so I understood that prayers aren’t always answered. However, I thought that if I really wanted something or if it was important enough, God would come through for me. He would deliver the goods.

As humans, our view of life is limited. God sees us as eternal souls, and he is moving outside of time and space to accomplish his will in our lives. All we can see is “I want this. I need that right now.” This was my struggle for many years. It’s like I asked God for something, and it didn’t happen, and I thought, “This is not a hard thing for you!” He answered other people’s prayers, so why couldn’t he do this thing for me? I thought there was something wrong with me. There I was, disappointed with both God and myself.

The children of Israel, groaning under slavery in Pharoah’s brutal regime, cried out to God for deliverance. He said, “I’ve heard you, and I’ve answered.” I can only imagine their frustration and disappointment at the slowness of Moses’ arrival. “No, you don’t understand, God. We need help now.” Their faith in their future as God’s chosen people faded, and they lost heart. They didn’t see the faith in God that they were going to need in the decades ahead.

Here is what I remind myself when I begin to shrink into my unbelief: God is working on my inner man during the times of silence. He is changing each of us on the inside, developing patience, endurance, and spiritual muscles. He’s drawing us close and revealing his character. “This is where your focus needs to be right now. Look to me. I am on your side. I’ll get you through this, and you will be stronger.”

When we dwell on disappointment, we miss out on the faith, strength and intimacy with God that adversity brings. “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16, ESV).

In The Root of the Righteous, A. W. Tozer wrote, “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply.”

God is smart. He'll tell you what's ahead, but he won’t tell you how you’re going to get there. He gave Joseph a dream where he saw sheaths of wheat in the field bow before his sheath. God showed him what was going to happen but never showed him how he was going to get there. Let’s be real. If God had showed him the process, it wouldn’t have been a dream. It would have been a nightmare.

Let me tell you the three things that God did to prepare Joseph to lead and be second-in-command of a country.

1.    He was going to be betrayed by the closest people in his life.

2.    He was going to be accused of something, and he couldn’t defend himself.

3.    Promises were going to be made to him, and promises were going to be broken.

If God can wound you deeply in your pride and self-sufficiency, he can begin to use you greatly. Here’s two ways that happens.

First, nobody heard Joseph’s side of the story except those of us who are reading it thousands of years later. That’s amazing because we all want to defend ourselves, react from our hurt pride, take control of the situation. Sometimes the greatest lesson that God teaches you in this hard school is to keep your mouth shut. Stop talking about it to every friend who will listen; get off of social media; let God defend you. Genesis 30:33 is a verse that I've lived by, and it says, “My honesty will answer for me later.” Most times, I want my honesty to answer for me now, but the Bible says later.

Second, difficulty is not necessarily directional. This is what I mean: Just because it's difficult doesn't mean that God's will is for you to move on. It's poor providence that you’re supposed to move somewhere else just because where you're at right now is hard. What if difficulties are God deepening something in us? What if God himself has led you to that difficult place? If we’re serious about seeing what God has for us, we will wait in the difficulties, with our wounds, for him teach his lessons to us.

_{After pastoring an inner-city congregation in Detroit for thirty years, Pastor Tim served at Brooklyn Tabernacle in NYC for five years and pastored in Lafayette, Louisiana, for five years. He became Senior Pastor of Times Square Church in May of 2020.}

“Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus” (Acts 4:13 NKJV).

We see in Acts 4 that as Peter and John stood waiting for judgment to be pronounced, the man who had just been healed stood with them. There, in the flesh, was living proof that Peter and John had been with Jesus. Now, as the synagogue rulers looked on “and seeing the man who had been healed standing with them, they could say nothing against it” (Acts 4:14).

What did Peter and John do when they were released? “And being let go, they went to their own companions and reported all that the chief priests and elders had said to them” (Acts 4:23). The saints in Jerusalem rejoiced with the two disciples, then they prayed, “Now, Lord, look on their threats, and grant to your servants that with all boldness they may speak your word, by stretching out your hand to heal, and that signs and wonders may be done through the name of your holy servant Jesus” (Acts 4:29-30). They were praying, “God, thank you for the boldness you’ve given our brothers, but we know this is just the beginning. Please, keep us all bold to speak with holy assurance. Provide evidence that you are with us.”

No doubt, Peter and John had seen the look of resignation on the high priest’s face when he realized they had been with Jesus. Peter must have winked at John and said, “If they only knew. They only remember that we were with Jesus weeks ago. They don’t realize we’ve been with the resurrected Lord ever since. We were just with him, in the Upper Room. Just this morning we were with him as we prayed in our cell. And as soon as we get out of here, we’re going to meet him again.”

That’s what happens with men and women who spend time with Jesus. When they come away from their time with Christ, he is with them wherever they go.

The more someone is with Jesus, the more that person becomes like Christ in purity, holiness and love. In turn, his pure walk produces in him a great boldness for God. Scripture says, “The wicked flee when no man pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion” (Proverbs 28:1 NKJV). The word for bold in this verse means “secure, confident.” That’s just the kind of boldness the synagogue rulers saw in Peter and John as they ministered in Acts 4.

In the previous chapter, Peter and John prayed for a crippled beggar, and he was instantly healed. The healing caused a great stir around the temple, and in an attempt to stop the disciples from sharing their faith in Christ, the religious leaders had them arrested and put on a public trial.

Peter and John then met with the synagogue rulers. The Bible doesn’t go into much detail about this scene, but I can assure you the religious leaders orchestrated it to be all pomp and ceremony. First, the dignitaries solemnly took their velvety seats. Next came the high priests’ relatives. Finally, in a moment of hushed anticipation, the robed religious leaders strutted in. Everyone bowed as the priests walked stiffly up the aisle toward the seat of judgment.

All of this was meant to intimidate Peter and John, but the disciples were not intimidated in the least. They had been with Jesus for too long. I imagine Peter thinking, “Come on, let’s get this meeting started. Just give me the pulpit and turn me loose. I’ve got a word from God for this gathering. Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to preach your name.” Peter wasn’t going to deliver a lecture. It wasn’t going to be quiet or reserved. He was a Jesus-possessed man, bursting with the Holy Ghost. He was ready to preach Jesus Christ! “Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, ‘…This is the stone which was rejected by you builders, which has become the chief cornerstone. Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.’”

God’s servants are secure in their identity in Christ. They stand confident in Jesus’ righteousness. Therefore, they have nothing to hide; they can stand before anyone with a clear conscience.

Paul said, “To die is gain” (Philippians 1:21 NKJV). That kind of talk is absolutely foreign to our modern spiritual vocabularies. We have become such life-worshippers that we have very little desire to depart to be with the Lord.

Paul was torn. He honestly wrote, “For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better” (Philippians 1:23). That said, he thought it best to stay here and “live in the flesh,” knowing the new church needed more teaching and encouragement.

In saying “to die is gain,” was Paul being morbid? Did he have an unhealthy fixation with death? Did he not respect the life God had blessed him with? Absolutely not! Paul lived life to the fullest. To him, life was a gift, and he had used it well to fight a good fight. He had simply overcome the fear of the “sting of death” and could now say, “It’s better to die and be with the Lord than to stay in the flesh.”

Those who die in the Lord are the winners because resurrection is the ultimate healing where we are ushered into our Father’s presence! The passage of death can be painful, but it cannot compare to the unspeakable glory that awaits those who endure the passage.

Talking about death bothers us. We try to ignore it, avoiding even thinking about it. Occasionally we will talk about what heaven must be like, but most of the time the subject of death is taboo. Instead, we hear messages on how to use our faith to acquire more things. Death is considered an intruder that cuts us off from the good life we have become accustomed to. We think, “I love the Lord, but I need more time to enjoy my life.” What a stunted concept of God’s eternal purposes. No wonder so many Christians are frightened by the thought of death.

How different the first Christians were! Paul spoke frequently about death. In fact, our resurrection from the dead is referred to in the New Testament as our “blessed hope.” Christ calls us to die without worrying about how we should be remembered. Jesus left no autobiography, no headquarters complex, no university or Bible college. He left nothing to perpetuate his memory but the bread and wine. By his death, though, we gained everything.