Prodigal Children Overcoming Addiction — Part 2

Gary Wilkerson

In part one, Gary and Kelly share their heartbreak in learning that two of their children have fallen prey to drug and alcohol addiction. Their story continues.

We were brought to our knees, literally and figuratively, as Elliot’s and Evan’s lives spiraled out of control. There was the guilt of having failed our children, then came the shame. The shame of having given our lives to ministry and now feeling like we couldn’t manage our own home was an additional anvil that threatened to crush us. It wasn’t just us, though; it was a family crisis. People tend to forget that the tremors of addiction are felt throughout the entire family.

Even as we cried out to God, he slowly moved us forward. Carried by grace, we began to reassess and make positive changes. God was firm, though, in telling us our approach was to be wholehearted.

First, we sought professional help, a critical step. It’s one Christians sometimes dismiss, but we felt it was vitally important to understand the disease of addiction spiritually, physiologically, mentally and emotionally. Grasping the power of what we were up against armed us with the tools and knowledge to fight it. Also, during this time, we looked back into our family’s history and saw behaviors that had helped bring us to where we were. It was a time of reflection, breaking old habits and bringing down spiritual strongholds.

Second, we asked our congregation for prayer. It felt risky because we knew some would judge and criticize, and some did. However, we knew at this point, for us, it was what God wanted. Galatians 6:2 reminded us, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (ESV). We were enfolded in prayer and love as our church family stormed heaven on our behalf.

Third, we ended the enabling and began enforcing boundaries. We had to come to terms with the fact that our children’s bad decisions and risky behavior were their own, and they had to face them and be accountable. Ultimately, their survival was up to them.

The fourth and final step was one of the hardest: letting go. God gently reminded us that even he as the perfect parent has prodigal children; even Adam, whom God lovingly molded with his own hand from the dust of the earth, went into sin. The message from God was clear: “Your sons have free will; you must let them go. Give them to me. I’ve got this.”

Slowly, tentatively, we did and entrusted them to God.

Gary and Kelly’s testimony will continue next week, and their full story with Evan is available on the Gary Wilkerson podcast.