Managing your emotions in a healthy way is continual work. We must always be learning how to not suppress or deny our emotions but also to not let them dominate or define us. In your next dispute, I encourage you to commit to keeping either of these two resolutions:
-
• I will no longer be a skunk! When the skunk isn't happy, she lets it be known. She sprays all around herself, leaving a repulsive odor that permeates everything and lasts for a long time to make sure the whole world is well aware of her mood. I would like to tell you gently but firmly that some members of your family have seen you act like this.
Learn to speak the truth with love; be aware of your reactions, behaviors and attitudes during conflicts. Choose to say, "We will no longer be impulsive children who overreact. Instead, we will learn to speak the truth with love in order to grow and look more like Christ. “
-
• I will no longer be a turtle! At the slightest sign of danger, the turtle hides its head in its shell and locks himself up inside. “Finished! Good night! End of the ‘non-discussion.’”
I would like to tell you gently but firmly that by fleeing the conflict, by not having the courage to speak, you emotionally distance yourself from those around you, driving a wedge between you and them. I encourage you to realize that God has not given us a spirit of timidity but strength to learn to speak the truth with love. Scripture says, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7, ESV).
Today, this week, and throughout the year, I and my house will learn by the grace of God, to speak the truth with love. We will no longer be babies. We will no longer be skunks or turtles. We will let God help us express ourselves, forgive one another, release our dispute, seek peace with righteousness and regularity, courage and compassion, in order to grow and more closely resemble Christ. Amen!
Claude Houde is the lead pastor of Eglise Nouvelle Vie (New Life Church) in Montreal, Canada. Under his leadership New Life Church has grown from a handful of people to more than 3500 in a part of Canada with few successful Protestant churches.