Healing very rarely involves just making the pain go away. Far more often, God is interested in taking a story of suffering, putting the sins that caused it on the cross, and then resurrecting our hearts and minds. The ‘old man’ in us must die beneath the cross, but like with baptism, God is supporting our head and holding our hand as we go under. He will raise us up again.
Part of how God does this is often through having a good community around you. These are people who are going to help you, even if its just one or two really close, godly friends. You can do some things alone to work towards maturity and healing, but the reality is that we’re really not meant to go through life alone. From the very beginning, God declared, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18, ESV). None of us were meant to go through life alone.
This need for community is echoed in the New Testament when James writes to the early church, “Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:14-16, ESV).
If you aren’t part of a church, find a church with good theology and join it. Get help from the pastors or elders of your church. Cultivate friendships with mature Christian friends, anyone who’s a little further along in their walk with Christ. They don’t have to be an 80-year-old theology professor. Obviously, you have to be careful whom you trust your story and heart to, but be open to having another person speak into your life. Pray and ask God to bring trustworthy people and mentors to you. God often choses to work through other people and heal us in community.